The Ring of Fire.

As Johnny Cash says, "I walked into a burning ring of fire." There was a time when I was the man that would simply RUN into that burning ring. I have never felt more distant from that man than I do today.

Something has happened this year at Acadia National Park. I am a summer employee there. For the past four seasons, I have maintained boundaries on the park, and worked to keep the park safe from fire. This is a job that I felt earned me a great deal of respect with my friends and the general public. I think that this has changed.

I now work for a Campground at Acadia National Park, and though laudable, it is not fire. I enjoyed working in fire. I enjoyed the trips to other states to assist in the fire use effort. I REALLY enjoyed the large paychecks that would come from these excursions. I felt all of that fall through the floor yesterday when I had learned that the Park had sent a crew to Alaska.

This summer has been wet. When I say wet, I mean WET WET!!! We have had so much rain, and I suppose I know that this does not always translate to the rest of the country, but I can say that I had no expectation of going on a fire. I dragged my feet getting my certification (Red Card) for fire, and BANG! - They go on a fire. To a large degree this was my own fault, and I suppose I can rack it up to the shittiest year in the history of Brian, (This kind of thing has been commonplace for me) but I can't. I know that by dragging my feet, I was responsible for the loss, and I have no one to blame but myself. Perhaps this is the end-cap of this year, and now things will start anew.

After a good nights sleep, I showered in preparation for the day, and started thinking about a response to my predicament from a recently gained friend. "Do your best to focus on tomorrow with a little regard to six months from now." It is very, "No day but today," but also considerably meaningful, thoughtful, and kind. While the water washed over my head and face, it occurred to me that there is nothing I can do about it now, and that I have to take something away from it.

I have found that the best way to stay optimistic in difficult times is to find what you can take away from an unfortunate event. My mom taught me that it was important to learn from one's mistakes. So, it seems reasonable to ask myself what I learned here...?

What I have learned is that if you want to do something, do it now! Don't wait for the right moment - the right moment never comes. Don't wait for the sun to come out, or the rain to stop. Don't wait until you finished that cigarette or that television show is over! Don't even wait until you are finished eating! Do not wait for the time when all things come together. It is futile.

There is a certain time in all of our lives that we have a charmed existence. For some it may last for years, and for others, a mere hour. However, when we lose that charm in our life, we begin to wonder why we are not as lucky as we once were. What happened to us? Why are we so lost? Well, it would make sense that charms and luck, although brilliant when experienced, are subject to the ebb and flow of natural law. We have times that are, in a word, fantastic - and others that break our souls. But when we just move forward, and don't wait for right timing - we just do what needs to be done, then that is when the stars align, and our charms are given back to us. I hope that this is that time for me.